Holidays and traditions go hand in hand. It’s hard to think about one without the other. Each holiday has traditions associated with it, and in my unscientific opinion, Christmas has the most. Do the traditions run you or do you run them? Read on for more on finding peace in holiday traditions this year in your home.
Are you just beginning your family and searching for traditions? Are you in the middle of the child-rearing years and need a revamp? Or are you weary and tired and need permission to let some of these time-worn traditions go? I’ve sat in at least one, if not all of these seats every holiday season since becoming a mom.
Mothers are the memory keepers and tradition bearers of their families; they are the heartbeat of their home.
It’s a monumental job. As a mom, let me start with just encouraging you – the fact that you’re reading this tells me you love your family and want the Christmas season to be magical for your kids and also peaceful for you – you are a great mom. These things don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Please also know that as I write this, I’m talking to myself too. I’m talking to who I was a few years ago, who I am today and who I hope to be in Christmases to come. Just call me Mrs. Dickens.
Charles Dickens wrote the beloved and timeless A Christmas Carol and the visits from the spirits of Christmas past, present and future. I’d like to take three concepts from this story to help us all through finding peace in holiday traditions.
- To honor the past.
- To respect the present and be present.
- To build into the future.
Step one acknowledges we cannot change the past, so we need to honor what has been and what we worked hard at and then forgive ourselves anything that didn’t pan out, for all those missed expectations. Let us take from the past what we value and honor and evaluate if the tradition is a memory to treasure and shelve or one to repeat this year.
Step two involves respecting the present is to remain practical and present (and peaceful)! Yes, I’m using the word twice in one sentence to represent two of its meanings: present tense and present in body, mind and soul. Every year has different dynamics, and every year has different offerings and challenges to navigate. There may be a new baby or a sick loved one, there may be a financial strain or financial bonus, unexpected home repairs, there may be move or a trip. To remain present in spirit with your family (which is truly what they desire the most) is to evaluate and then simplify. Yes, girl…SIMPLIFY.
I keep a Peace over Pace list of traditions that we have embraced on and off over the years in my planner, and I choose from those each year. This is my list for traditions to repeat in the future. I have them in a ranked list by priority that is not set-in stone, I re-arrange at will. I schedule 3-5 into each holiday season, I plan for more (5) and know that some (1-2) may get red lined. If I hit 3, I’m pleased.
I re-arrange the priority list annually because I ask my children what their favorite part of Christmas is at some point in November or early December and take a cue from what they say. Those are the memories that stuck last year, the magical moments I want to repeat.
The cool thing about a la carte traditions is they don’t lose their magic or effect if you skip a year.
If they don’t happen this year but are important to you or your family, they can be re-instated next year. Stay flexible and resilient. Sanity is so much more important than sacrifice.
For example, remember that cookie recipe from grandma that signifies Christmas to you? You made the dough and never got the chance to roll it out and decorate? It is still Christmas. You can redeem the experience in January by baking and distributing them in the blue and dark days of the New Year for extra cheer. What a lesson for everyone right there.
Or that amazing Pinterest craft that was screaming your name in the first weeks of November? No sweat, its pinned and saved, now just write it down in your planner for next year and perhaps schedule it a week earlier to give yourself some buffer time.
Step three is build into the future. Did you recently hear or read about a tradition you want to start? Go ahead. Try it out! It’s never too late to experiment and do new things. It may be a one-time memory or grow into a treasured foundation for your family.
Consider the tradition and what it develops in your family. Is it fun? Is it full of silliness or family togetherness? Is it a time of working together towards a goal that satisfies? Is it one you share with extended family or friends? A collective tradition across families is a great one – it weaves different cultures and backgrounds together around a common shared experience that builds relationships and memories. Traditions accomplish all of these. They grow heart.
In summary, select a few traditions for this season, and perhaps try a new one.
Don’t force a tradition beyond your limits. If there is stress behind it, it loses some of its magic for them and especially for you. So, pick less and savor them more.
Look to have traditions that don’t take much work. I think we may try fixing a hot drink and walking around our neighborhood and downtown this year. We’ve never done it before, but this Christmas the town is decked out and it feels wrong to not slow down, sip a hot drink and walk around it with the family appreciating the peace of an evening and the togetherness.
It may just be something we do this year, and I’m okay with that too. A one-time tradition is a great route towards finding peace in holiday traditions.
